Hi all, and welcome to my Blog.
My name is Vikki, and I’m a Transgender Female living and working in the UK.
I’ve started this blog purely as a way of writing down my thoughts and feelings, as I now start my journey through transition from living life as Male to becoming Female, and beyond. You see, I spent 45 years of my life living as, what is now known as, a cisgender Male – With almost no idea that I could even consider being Female, let alone consider corrective surgery. But I must admit I did have a tendency to THINK like a woman sometimes… But doesn’t every Man think like a woman on occasion? Don’t try and hide it boys, you know you do, lol.
Look, essentially, as humans, we all start off as Female. Chromosomally, the human species is Heterogametic, with respect to sex determination. The Y chromosome being the dominant one, as we all know, and containing the sry gene that eventually does all the jiggery pokery – Females are Homogenous in that respect by having no dominant Y – two X’s. The result of this is that, if the sry gene takes precedence (and we don’t yet know why), a Male birth is produced; complete with fully formed Testicles and a Penis. No sry gene precedence? Female birth, Vagina, Uterus, Fallopian Tubes and Ovaries. To give another example, and this is how I discovered this, is the subject of Birds. Birdlife, have a Female Dominant Heterogametry; and use Z and W for the sex chromosomes, (ZW is Female, ZZ is male). Transfer that out into the live society and is it REALLY the rooster that rules the roost? Look at the facts, I think not. There’s a lot more to it than that but, before you start asking too many questions, a lot of it is beyond the scope of what I’m trying to say here; just trust me guys, this is true.
So! Fella’s! You think like a woman sometimes, I’m not going to let you deny it – I know because if you pan the base thinking above out, across the course of human development and life; you’ll realise anything can happen – And it usually does. There isn’t anything wrong with trying on that dress when your wife asks you to because she wants to see what you look like in it. It’s humour, it doesn’t make you Gay or Trans. But I still never thought I was anything other than a cisgender male, never entered my head. I admit, I did have problems in thinking I might have been Homosexual sometimes, but I could always put those to bed – come on, the guys were buff! Lol.
I did speak extremely frankly to a Gay friend of mine one time, in Brighton, 2003 and he said to me – In no uncertain terms – “You’re not Gay. Deal with it”. So I did.
I’ve had 4 major relationships in my life. One produced a son, who’s now five years old and doing very with his mum and step-dad (I wish them every success, just keep me informed of his progress; that’s all I ask). Of the others, I have three step-daughters. All of whom have turned out into well-rounded, stable, people and I’m proud of them all. All of those relationships meant a lot to me and I wouldn’t go back and change anyhting about them for the world. I still love those women, just in a very different way. I consider them some of my best friends – And I’m still in touch with one or two of them, even as recently as yesterday, in fact.
But anyway, lets go back to the beginning. I come from a large family and was born near Liverpool back in 1972. My Family still live, in the main, in Widnes in Cheshire. I was brought up as the middle child of three by my mum, in Runcorn, just over the water. (Two Pints of Lager nd a Packet of Crisps? Yeah, you know it. If not, look it up). My mum had five children, three girls and two boys. Both of the boys had issues; my brother has been diagnosed Schizoprenic but I haven’t spoken to him in a very long time. Of the girls, the eldest remained with my Maternal Grandmother and she has a very unique position in my life – She’s my auntie and my sister rolled into one. And there’s not many people I’m scared of but she tops the list! Lol – Love you sis ❤ …
Of my younger sisters, the very youngest was adopted out and grew up in a very different way to us. She’s turned out to be a lovely person and we’re back in touch with her. She has her own family, her own life but we’re here if she ever needs us and we keep in touch. The final menber of my close family is my younger sister. She was brought up with us, has turned out very well and is very happy. She’s a pain the butt sometimes but aren’t we all to our siblings (Love you too sis <3) xx
My extended family comprises six uncles (one who passed away when I was very young), two sets of Grandparents (all now, sadly, deceased)
So OK, let’s roll forward; lets start picking up the events that matter; or at least the ones I can remember.
I moved around a bit for a few years after my first relationship broke down and eventually settled in Cambridge, UK, in 2008 and have been in this area ever since.
I live alone and I’m happy that way at the moment – No plans to change that anytime soon. I’m Autistic, and that, strangely, means I’m a very creative individual – I love Music, as you’ll find out, and anything creative that can be done with a computer; which is the job I have done since leaving school 30 years ago. I also like cars, cooking and being a social butterfly…
So my mission is this. Write what I feel about what is happening to me. Write it all down, get it out and let the world know what’s happening – Tell people how you feel, using the tools that I have at my disposal. Maybe, just maybe, someone else can take some comfort in knowing they’re not alone out there. That my story strikes a chord somewhere and prevents someone else from losing 40-plus years living their life as if they were someone else.
I think it’s going to be a good thing to do this and I’m enjoying it so far – I mean, damn, I started in January and I’m only fleshing this part out now! (September, because I’ve been that busy, lol). Anyway, my friends say they like it, and they enjoy reading it, and I hope you will like it and enjoy it too. Maybe I’ll write a book once there’s enough of it down?